mkbnett

Today I received a Reiki Attunement for free from Nancy, a fellow member of the Spiritual Embodiment Collective.

Also, Cassandra gave me a Malachite stone, which feels really healing to my heart and now I can breathe easier.





below excerpted from
http://www.sobrietystones.com/resources/GemBook/Stones/meanings_gemstones_malachite.htm

If you feel GUILTY, but don't know why, this is a good stone to add to your collection. This is particularly useful for people on a spiritual path, or in recovery, for releasing guilt.

How does one make amends for that which you have no recollection or knowledge? Malachite will help you clear the past that you may have no conscious awareness of, yet remains a burden you are carrying.

Malachite's gift is assisting one be comfortable in changing situations.

Also very powerful in aiding with the interpretation and transfer of information that leads to Spiritual Evolution.

Excellent stone for identifying, recognizing and releasing negative experiences, especially one that you cannot recall. A very big help to people who are working on their 4th Step!

• It can be helpful in gaining insight into the cause of specific conditions, such as relationships, resentments, and anxiety so that you can release them.

• Malachite also represents fidelity in love and friendship, and is a good companion stone for Jade - The Stone of Fidelity in relationships , both romantic and friendships, that have had turmoil and need to rebuild trust, as it also promotes loyalty.

• A protective stone in the field of Aviation, said to stimulate awareness of and prevention of vertigo.

• Malachite is also an Abundance stone. With its equalizing and balancing vibrations, it can create an unobstructed path leading to a desired goal.

Physical: asthma, arthritis, swollen joints, tumors, growths, broken bones, and torn muscles.

Keywords: Athletes, guilt, resentment, spiritual evolution, emotional healing, relationships, friendships,

Astrological: Capricorn and Scorpio

 http://www.wwoofusa.org/farms/1676

Gorgeous & has the feel of the People's Garden near the Kosciusko stop along the JMZ in Brooklyn.  I suggest wandering in there next spring after dusk.  Last time I did that, well, I slept for an hour or so to let jenky vibes float away, BUT the time before that, the folks that run the place & chill there (mainly Dominican socialists, if I recall correctly) invited myself & my potential housemates in for some beers and guitar-playing in the garden.  A fantastic evening.

The description of work to be done on the website mentions menial projects performed mostly in solitude, which also sounds sorta gorgeous - gives me time to meet the plants.  Plus, just a bike ride to the beach.

Don't know if it feels like "service" enough though.  Still, it's only the first search, heh.  Plenty of time for more research.

Mount Eerie's latest release Wind's Poem speaks to my Deep Ecological Rage & Grief, and Boisters my Wistful Soul's Cry for a Rewilding Renaissance.

From the tinymixtapes review:
"Another piece of the Elverum puzzle still firmly in place is his emphasis on and connection with nature. A true child of the Pacific Northwest"
"Elverum is watching it all go down from atop a fiery mountain peak, singing, “I know the world is a flaming house/ And I will be... I will be grieving.” "

Get it here - or if you have any money, please give it to Phil by way of here.



Track Listing
1. Wind's Dark Poem
2. Through The Trees
3. My Heart Is Not At Peace
4. the Hidden Stone
5. Wind Speaks
6. Summons
7. Mouth of Sky
8. Between Two Mysteries
9. Ancient Questions
10. (something)
11. Lost Wisdom pt. 2
12. Stone's Ode

I visited Eve's Garden in Camden yesterday, that Andrea presented on at the conference.  Feels like a village almost, since many of the 7th-8th graders (and Andrea) live right near the garden and their school, Sacred Heart.  Closest thing I have yet seen to an American version of the Brazilian favelas. Many of the houses appear ramshackled together with plywood and corrugated plastic overhangs, at least from the rear.  Gives the feeling of living in forts instead of civilized proper buildings, which felt closer to the Earth than living in faux-colonial mansions.

 OVERVIEW

There are several different sides to your character but your energy is primarily pointed in two contrary directions. Part of you is probably strong and practical, interested in the business world or similar material activities, but another side of you tends to be introspective and reserved, concerned with inner needs and private projects. During your youth and young adulthood, you'll struggle to balance the necessity of taking care of your material desires and ambitions with the equally strong necessity of spending time alone in study or contemplation. You'll sometimes take care of one and sometimes the other, but rarely to your complete satisfaction. As you get older, you'll probably learn how to balance your ambitious, practical side with your studious, solitary side so that you can feel comfortable with both.

You're also blessed with a special potential for spiritual awareness although many people with this energy aren't even aware of the gift they possess. Your spiritual side may not be particularly strong when you're young but may assume more importance in your life from your early thirties on. If you do choose to make use of this ability, you may be able to exercise considerable power by bringing your spiritual understandings to bear on the attainment of practical material goals.

YOUR SPIRITUAL PATH TO SUPERIOR ACHIEVEMENT -- AND THE OBSTACLES TO BE OVERCOME

Your 7 Life Path, 22 Expression And 22 Birthday

You have a fine analytical mind and are capable of much in the way of learning. You probably have the potential to understand fundamental truths as well as the capacity to search for ultimate meanings. You may involve yourself in complex technical, scientific or philosophical studies. One of your major lessons in life is to use your abilities to learn the peace of mind which can only come from knowing yourself and accepting and expressing your deepest feelings.

When you use your spiritual awareness, you probably intuitively perceive a great deal about the non-material world -- and religious, psychic or metaphysical forces. Other people will see your ability to apply your unique philosophical perceptions to the accomplishment of practical, down-to-earth undertakings. You may be able to develop or manage sizable ventures, particularly ventures with significant humanitarian ends. Using your non-material understandings for the benefit of the material world may bring you substantial recognition.

YOUR ORDERLY, HARDWORKING NATURE -- AND YOUR NARROW, LIMITING APPROACH

Your 4 Expression, 4 Soul Urge And 4 Birthday

That intuitive and spiritual side is a primary part of your character. There are other aspects of your personality which contribute to the overall picture even though they're of lesser importance than your intuitive side. When some of these lesser characteristics conflict with that inner-directed side, the inner-directed side usually determines your course.

You have a natural potential to work long, hard and patiently. If there's a job to be done requiring a good deal of time, much difficult work and careful attention to detail, you can probably do it well. Others will recognize this ability and turn to you for help with complex tasks on tight deadlines. With your orderly nature, you may choose a line of work in which your systematic approach can be developed. You would probably work well in any place where care with details is important. You're likely to be good at establishing new routines and maintaining existing ones. Your personal life reflects a similar concern with system and order.

  Ryan:  (a faith in matt bennett, superstar)

 Ryan:  i'm not even sure if i know what it means to fully release one's fears and doubts

 me:  heaven on earth, seeing the creation as it is, EVERYTHING pulling you towards yourself, hehe

not all encouraging, not all discouraging, but seeing it all for what it is and faith in knowing yer okay & the path you make is righteous

 Sent at 10:12 PM on Monday

 me:  an unshakable positive knowing/feeling/sensing of the moment, you dance with all that you perceive

not stagnant, a flow

that's my take at least, hehe

 Ryan:  hmm, is it at all like anything else that you've experienced?

i've ruled out any kind of adrenaline-based situations

but maybe some kind of musical high

?

 Sent at 10:17 PM on Monday

 me:  not truly since childhood

everything since then has kinda felt like a struggle

Ryan:  was it anything to do with church during your childhood?

 Sent at 10:21 PM on Monday

 me:  what do you mean?

 Ryan:  you havent felt anything similar since childhood, what made you feel like that back then?

 me:  no judgment, either internal or external

 Ryan:  ohoh

 me:  discernment, yes, but not condemnation

 Sent at 10:24 PM on Monday

 me:  imagine dancing at a concert and not being concerned that someone else will judge that you look stupid AND also feeling/knowing/sensing in your body/mind/soul that you love what yer doing

and then feel like that all the time

heh

 Ryan:  wow

 me:  love.

 Ryan:  that's children

free

 me:  yep

wild

reWILD

hehe

 Ryan:  right right

always with the nuts n berries, you

 me:  nar, i refer to the soul

and brain

and body

inner rewilding

do you mind if i post this discussion on my blog?

i enjoyed it immensely, heh

helped clarify a lot of concepts for me

 Ryan:  hah, not a problem

 me:  thank you

 Ryan:  i do have a habit of making you spell things out for me

 me:  keep it up!

hehe

 Ryan:  glad to be of service

 me:  i feel grateful to have you as a friend, Ryan

 Ryan:  

i'm grateful for you too

 me:  you like animal collective, no?

 Ryan:  possibly

 me:  just so i communicate properly, hehe, i just sobbed after writing that i feel grateful to have you as a friend, heh

releasing my fears opens me up to intense emotions these days

 Ryan:  my eyes welled up

 me:  

i love every feeling, hehe

been so walled up inside, you know?

the world scared me into not expressing myself

and on the surface, i appear to express a lot!

hehe

 Ryan:  i know you've been seeking ways to express yourself

especially post-college

 me:  with my flamboyant dress and parties & such

heh

totally

 Ryan:  well, with your arts

 me:  yes, this too

 Ryan:  and planting

 me:  and that

and planting ideas via le interwebs

 Ryan:  mr clever

 me:  mr non-lover of poetic language

heh

 Ryan:  yea right!

 me:  haha, oh yeah? prove it!

 Ryan:  i use that corny poetic type of shit all of the time

 me:  haha

 Ryan:  lol

 

Love your response.  I believe what you wrote actually holds true for most people of our generation.  It certainly rings true for me.  Only in the last few years have I actively sought folks to emulate, and luckily have found a few.  Before that, I honestly never looked because I assumed all those older than me were unworthy, cause the world I knew felt awful and acted (either willfully or ignorantly) destructively towards wild beauty.

 The last few weeks have found me intending to speak and write more eloquently. An effort to grow beyond the giggling, hyper, internet/DIY-cultured boy character that served me so well for so long, but reached it's limits.

12:58am'matt

For one, I've attempted to cut out the verb "to be" in all of its variations "is, are, was, were, have been".

It forces much more description somehow.

1:02am'matt

I feel a little afraid that it's altering the wavelength that I beam out. Even reading this, I seem much more serious than usual. I suppose it will take a bit for me to figure out a new playfulness with my language - my guess for accomplishing this feat, "through metaphor and simile" though I fear I'll sound boring until then. ::smiles::

Friend

I am afraid I was away from this site and now I have returned. You sound eloquent and serious, but intellegent.

Not sure if I can handle the complete-thought-ed-ness that comes with your new style.

1:11am'matt

Yar, may not work the best in chat-land

1:12am'matt

Certainly produces results, though

Friend                1:12am

word.

1:14am'matt

Mayhaps akin to the difference between http://lookbook.nu and http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/ ?

'matt

I believe it also has to do with owning every expression by discerning the action that originated it, ie: "believe, think, feel, intuit, sensed, etc."

1:27am'matt

Thus sharing insights on one's own indisputable living experience versus abstractly describing a binary world of what "is or isn't" or what "was or wasn't".

Slows me down though, heh

The Political Spectrum of Our Hands
Left and Right
Inspire Them To Come Together.
If these hands meet their exact equal opposite
in tone, size, warmth, and hue
in the middle of the gut each feeds n' shares
You'll get prayers, preyers.
If each opposite reaches Far Out
Far Left and Far Right
And the human condition sits in the circle of life
Each stretching seeking hand shall touch someone
A neighbor. A brother from another mother.
A sister, a child, a niece, a grandmother,
A father, a boy, a cousin, a son,
And A Community Birthed
As Estranged Hands Hold.

.
END CIVILIZATION: WE ALL, EACH OF US, BREATHE WITH AN INDIGENOUS SOUL
AND ALL EQUALLY FACE THE UNNECESSARY WAY THAT CIVILIZATION FORCES US TO LIVE 

CIVILIZATION FORCES US TO MAKE CHOICES THAT WE DARE NOT WISH TO TAKE.
RISK CHANGING OUR LIVELIHOOD RADICALLY?
OUR IMMEDIATE ANCESTORS WOULD NEVER FORGIVE THAT (ASSUMING THOSE READING THIS ARE PRIVILEGED AMONGST EVEN THE CIVILIZED PEOPLE [SINCE HUMANS LIVING IN CAMDEN, NJ AND FACTORY CITIES IN CHINA FACE THE SAME CIVILIZING ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, AND THEREFORE WOULD QUALIFY AS CIVILIZED (VS. BEING ABLE TO LIVE A TRADITIONAL CULTURAL LIFESTYLE AMONGST A TRADITIONAL CULTURE)

---------HOW WOULD CIVILIZATION BE DESCRIBED IN TERMS OF THE FIELD OF BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGY?
CAN ONE DESCRIBE CIVILIZING ACTIVITY AS A BEHAVIORAL DISORDER? ------------

 http://emeraldstreeturbanfarm.wordpress.com/about/

http://prestonsparadise.wordpress.com/about/

http://weaversway.coop/index.php?page=the_farm

http://www.greensgrow.org/

http://maysiesfarm.blogspot.com/2009/07/saita-presents-urban-farms-in.html#comment-form

so the world sucks and we're all destroying the planet and losing our jobs at the same time somehow and depression is huge and there's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well get used to it and be content with what you got, you know?

FUCK THAT.

so i used to feel guilt and/or shame over the human race and more particularly 'my' western civilization and particularly 'my' united states of whatever, BUT THAT WAS STOOPID.

This Culture Didn't Just Fucking Pop Out Of The Blue By Accident.  It's Not Like We Grabbed the Purple Stuff instead of the Sunny D because we didn't really look when we stuck our hand in the fridge. There have been and there continue to be deliberate decisions made to actively fuck over the planet and poor brown people in order to profit from it.

AND YES, WE ALL DO IT. ALL OF US CIVILIZED AMERICANS DO IT. IT'S TRUE. (we wouldn't be civilized, or necessarily 'americans' heh, cascadians? haha)

BUT THE DUDES CHECKING OUT MY PORNO TAPE* AND BAGGING MY GROCERIES MAKE DECISIONS THAT FUCK ME & THE PLANET OVER AN INCREDIBLY SMALL AMOUNT COMPARED TO THE "POWERFUL" DECISION-MAKERS, LIKE C.E.O.'s, POLITICIANS, AND PRESIDENT'S OF COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES (YES, I'M INCLUDING THEM BECAUSE THEY SHAPE THE MINDS OF THE NEXT YOUNG FOLKS - DO WE GET CONSUMERS OR HUMANS?).

THERE'S A REASON WHY THESE ARE *****POWERFUL********* MEN (SICK).

UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE PLANET AND OUR RELATIVES (all the other species) AND US PEOPLE (and the powerful people - in the long run), THESE INSANE PEOPLE MAKE DECISIONS TO TEMPORARILY INCREASE THE POWER AND MONEY OF THEySELVES AND THEIR CONSTITUENTS AT THE EXPENSE OF A LIVING PLANET AND HEALTHY, THRIVING COMMUNITIES (see Premise 20 of Endgame: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endgame_(Derrick_Jensen_books) )

AND THOSE POWERFUL PEOPLE ARE FUCKED UP, and FUCKED BECAUSE IT APPEARS THEY'VE FORGOTTEN THAT ALONG WITH THEIR POWER COMES RESPONSIBILITY, AND THEY ARE RACKING UP ONE OF THE BIGGEST TABS I'VE EVER SEEN.

AND THIS PLACE DOESN'T ACCEPT CREDIT NO MORE AND WE SURE AS HELL AIN'T NO CHARITY FOR RICH FUCKS.

*NB: I don't actually rent pornography. I watch it for free on the internet like everyone else.

Endgame: Volume 1: The Problem of Civilization by Derrick Jensen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars While not as concise as could be, this is a must read for all civilized humans alive at this moment on Earth. I thought I was pretty aware of what was up in the world, and how I wanted to live in it and this book totally blew my mind, lots of times, heh. In the first pages, Derrick Jensen lays out the 20 unstated premises that keep civilization afloat. The next 500 pages are meticulously researched, inspiring, passionate prose that dismantles the inherited logical and emotional constructs that are the enablers for us to allow civilization to acceleratingly destroy the living, wild, natural world. He also lays out why we must take action now to bring this system down and create new regenerative place-based cultures. He doesn't spend much time on what these new cultures could look like (my primary interest is cultivating these) beyond his statement from an interview with NoCompromise Magazine: "I’m interested in living in a world that has more wild salmon every year than the year before. A world that has more migratory songbirds every year than the year before; a world that has less dioxins and flame retardants in mothers’ breast milk [every year:]; a world that is not being destroyed; a world where krill populations aren’t collapsing; a world where there aren’t dead zones in the oceans; a world not being systematically dismantled. I want to live in a world that is not being killed, and I will do whatever it takes to get there. It is really clear that for the past 6000 years, civilization has been killing the planet. I’m on the planet’s side." http://www.nocompromise.org/issues/26jen... and since everyone who reads this review isn't a part of a thriving culture that is overcoming this sad reality of destruction, this book is truly A STAGGERING WORK OF HEARTBREAKING GENIUS. ie: a call to all you formerly ironic pretentious hipsters. what do you stand for? you are needed! start today: read this, :1. View all my reviews >>

Going through the boxes of toys, old school papers, baseball & other sports' cards, and clothes in my childhood room, I can't help but notice the civilizing influences on my life as evinced from what was left behind.

The ones unknowingly coerced into acting towards and aiding civilization (as opposed to nurturing the unraveling divine expression of my person and teaching me how to praisefully nurture free expression in other beings.)

School:
elementary, middle, high school, and college - papers, binders, notebooks and texts all printed on dead tree flesh, preparing me for an industrious life. I found a letter sent from the elementary school in late March decrying the "wearing of shorts" by students.  The letter informed parents that when students wear shorts, they begin to think of summer and start to ignore their studies, so the school banned the wearing of shorts until temperatures consistently exceeded 75 degrees... instead of letting them wear shorts and be forced to change their style and subjects to teach in a manner that respects and nurtures these young humans, inspiring the children to participate in the culture of the school of their own will.  God forbid children ever be given the choice to come to school or go play wildly and free as they choose - that's really the test of a culture to determine if it is as nurturing as nature, as play!

My parents:
my mother, Denise - "nice clothes" abound: khakis, collared shirts, khaki shorts, "dress pants," the boojshy furniture (quality looking, sturdy framed desks and dressers with thin paneled drawers.

my dad, Ken - golf shirts, old suits of his (to borrow for my future work for civilization), U.S. Army uniforms (joined the National Guard during Vietnam to avoid being drafted)

Towards Determining the Policies of The Universal Anarchist Party:

All beings (including human beings) are born 100% autonomous (or become autonomous as soon as their umbilical cord rots off).

Other ways of stating 100% autonomous:
Free
Wild
Self-Determined
Self-Spirited
Self-Emoted
Self-Willed

Anarchy is the main philosophy enacted in today's world.  Enculturated threats of violence have tricked many human animals into submitting their own beliefs to other belief systems without question (repression), while literal physical violence is used to force submission on those members of species who do not submit (oppression).

Healing from this enculturated repression, while dismantling the existing structures of oppression, then, is the task of the Universal Anarchist.

Healing from enculturated repression is the process of restoring and remembering individual clarity, strength, power, and grace, and creating, maintaining, and furthering mutually beneficial relationships.

Dismantling existing structures of oppression is the process of consciously clearing mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical constructs, and ending mutually destructive relationships.

Another word for the two above processes, as applied to all species and ecologies, is ReWilding.

What are the pathways for an individual to restore and remember her own clarity, strength, power, and grace?
What are the pathways for a community to restore and remember it's own clarity, strength, power, and grace?
What are the pathways for raising confident, strong, powerful, graceful children?

What are the pathways for gracefully dismantling violent power structures of emotional constructs?
What are the pathways for gracefully dismantling violent power structures of mental constructs?
What are the pathways for gracefully dismantling violent power structures of spiritual constructs?
What are the pathways for gracefully dismantling violent power structures of physical constructs?

 when you have a good idea, just google it and someone else will have already done it.

example: compiling a rad permaculture calendar:

done and done, here = http://www.milkwood.net/content/view/74/30/

the best image is for february, which can be found here:
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/4131868/2009-Permaculture-Calendar-Sample

the only thing really to do is localize everything, which needs be done...

i hope they either re-print these for 2010 or make a new one, so i don't have to, haha